


Trevor and Lilith

by EricFenton



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23217595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EricFenton/pseuds/EricFenton
Summary: Trevor and Lilly were originally created in response to a Writing Prompt on Reddit and were then expanded on in another response.  I don't know if this idea will go anywhere further, but I wanted to save them where I could find them if I wanted to.





	1. Chapter 1

"Okay, sweetie, have a good trip," Trevor shouted from the field while I hitched the wagon, "I love you!"

I smile and shout back, "I love you too, dear." We've been married for almost five years now, exactly five years this week, and still act like newlyweds. Trevor thinks I don't know about the big anniversary dinner he's planning for when I get back from my trip. As though I could honestly have failed to notice that his visits with the neighbors are really him training the village militia for extra cash, or that I could miss the bottle of wine that he "hid" behind the dresser. My husband is very sweet, but subterfuge just isn't his strong suit.

The trip to the nearest trade town takes a full day by wagon, a day to make deals and sell everything, and another day back. Obviously I could sell the grain in the village like some locals do, but I can make nearly twice as much by selling to the grain factors directly.

If that's where I was actually going.

As soon as the wagon rounds a bend and is out of view of the farm I can finally drop the glamour on the mule and wagon and shift back to my natural form. There's a rarely traveled crossroads here that makes the perfect place to summon the portal. Four years ago I set up a permanent runic circle in the bedrock and buried it again beneath the unpaved road. Just to save a little effort on these excursions, any good farmer learns to frugal with her time and energy.

The Nightmare pulls my black chariot through the gaping portal and we return to Hell. Like the dread hellbeast pulling me I revel again the screams of anguish and the tickle of flame against my exposed skin. The imp I keep as a valet finally arrives with my armor so I can change out of the ruined dress, the back was shredded when my wings burst out on the road. One of my tailors will fix it if possible, replace it if necessary.

Another minor demon carries the nightmare to the stables and unloads the grain. Even demon armies need to eat. Back to work. There are battle plans to be drawn, logistical plans to oversee, allies to betray, blood sacrifices to conduct, meetings to attend, and forms to sign.

I used to lead from the front, ripping through armies of the righteous with my cursed blade in hand. Those were the days, but eventually every leader gets bogged down in the detail. Besides, I can't go taking those kinds of chances anymore. I've got a husband now and I'm drinking the blood of the damned for two.

* * *

I usually stop what I'm doing to watch Lilli head down the road from our homestead. There's a curve up the way, just before the crossroads, that takes the cart out of sight. After that I wait about a quarter hour or so, just in case she needs to turn back because she forgot something. Once I'm confident she's well on her way, it's time for me to get underway as well.

I'm not heading to sell grain, though.

Lilli thinks she knows all the places I might hide things, but she's not quite as clever as she thinks she is. I keep a footlocker in the barn with all my old equipment from my militia days. She thinks it's just so I can train the new militiamen for extra coin, but that's not the only reason I keep it in the barn. It all looks like ordinary leathers and a serviceable, but plain broadsword. Our horse also looks like a simple plowhorse until he decides to drop the illusion.

In an instant the leather pads I've donned become a suit of polished steel, the sword becomes an impossibly sharp and shining blade, and the plowhorse a magnificent white beast with angelic wings. _Do we really need to keep up the facade, Trevor?_ Honorius asks in my mind.

"I'd hate to have Lilli worrying about me every time we go out," I reply casually while tightening the unique saddle that appeared where his plow harness had been. "Besides, I like not having to be the Champion of Light all the time." People love heroic demonslayers when they only show up when absolutely needed, but imagine if they could find you all the time. Soon we'd be called out for plain old troll attacks! Honorius knows that, he just hates plowing.

There's a lot more junk in the footlocker, some of it actually just old militia gear. Partly that's to trick anyone who goes snooping, but my wife is right that I'm just a bit of a packrat. Tucked away in a pocket with some outdated maps of the area is an old compass. There's no illusion disguising this, just its own appearance suggests that it isn't what it seems. Once I've mounted Honorius and we're out near the back of the homestead, well out of sight of the road, I whisper to the compass, "Where are we needed?"

The needle spins three times and then points due west. We fly.


	2. Chapter 2

At last the final battle between Light and Darkness had come, the Champion of Light leading the Free Peoples and the Queen of Darkness leading the Legions of the Damned. The two met on the field of battle, the Queen raised her wretched, shrieking blade high but the Champion ducked to the right, striking out with his shield. The Horned One's Helmet sailed across the field and -

"Lilly?" The Champion stopped and stared as the Queen of Darkness turned her demonic gaze back towards him. "Lilly, what the hell are you doing here?"

The Queen stopped and gaped, "Wait, Trevor?" He removed his own helm carefully and she stared at him, "Trevor! What are _you_ doing here?! You're supposed to be watching the farm!"

"I'm the Champion of Light, obviously!" Trevor announced to the sky. The warriors around them began to pause their fight, as confusion set in.

Either not noticing, or just not caring, 'Lilly' jammed her cursed blade into the soft ground, putting her hands on her hips, "Well, _obviously_ , I'm the Queen of Darkness!"

"I can see that!" Responded Trevor sarcastically, "But what are you doing on a battlefield in your condition?"

That's when I started actually looking at the Queen of Darkness and realized there was a bit of a bump, and her armor looked to have been taken out a bit fairly recently. Yikes, this _was_ going to be a fight for the ages. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. I looked over at the troll across from me, "Should we, like, start fighting again?" That would definitely be less awkward.

He waved me down, "Shhh! This is better than my stories."

I looked back over, she was really letting him have it now. "... Oh, so I'm supposed to just drop my career just because you came along, is that it!"

"Don't paint me as the bad guy here," Trevor started looking around for support, but no way anyone else was getting mixed up in this. He kept going, "Delegate! Are you a queen or not? Didn't you have Thirteen Princes of Evil?"

"I did, until _someone_ decided to smite them all!"

Trevor paused again, this time confused, "Wait, I only killed ten Princes of Evil. What happened to the other three?"

"They were plotting against me," Lilly looked around her, sheepishly and mumbled something I didn't catch. Apparently Trevor didn't catch it either, because he asked her to repeat herself. "I killed them and ate them, okay?"

He stared in disgust, "You _ate_ three Princes of Evil?" She started to say something about how that was perfectly normal for demons, but he kept on, "That _cannot_ be healthy for the baby!"

" _My_ mother ate most of her Princes of Evil when she was pregnant with me, and I turned out fine!" Her finger left a singe mark on his chestplate.

By this point nobody was still fighting, both armies had just stopped and were either listening directly or relaying the argument back down the lines. Trevor and Lilly still apparently hadn't noticed their audience, as she was now informing him exactly what she thought about what _he thought_ about her mother.

One of the Hellspawn Commanders tapped the Queen on her shoulder, "Ma'am, maybe you are pushing yourself too hard. You don't have to lead from the front." At the same time Sergeant Thorndike put a hand on the Champion's shoulder, "Sir, aren't you being a little overprotective? She's a grown woman." Which naturally triggered an explosion from both of them that they were perfectly capable of handling their own marital disputes, thank-you-very-much.

Anyway, long story short, by the time they settled the argument nobody could remember what we'd originally been fighting over.


End file.
